Ask Porsha: Am I a Booty Call?

Hi Porsha,

So I’ve been dating this guy that I met about 6 months ago. I approached him at a restaurant and asked for his number. We began talking and eventually had sex on our second date. At that point we had only been talking for aproxitmately 5 days. So the sex was great and we really hit it off but I noticed after we had sex he stopped calling/texting as much as he had been before. Now it’s been six months and I’m totally in love and gone in the head for him but I can barely get him to call me back on a regular basis, or even take me out. He only calls like once a week, and it’s never to take me out, only to come over and chill with me; which of course leads to sex. I know you’re probably going to say I’m crazy but I really do love him and honestly I’m not sure if I’m a booty call or not. I mean when we’re together he is good to me. He’s very affectionate, talks sweet to me, and has told me he loves me on several occasions. What do I do? Should I hold on and hope for the best or cut my losses. I need someone from the outside looking in to tell me the truth because my friends always say stick with it but they’re my friends so I’m not sure if they’re being honest. Help please!

-Dazed & Confused

Hi Dazed & Confused,

Well you certainly got your name right because you are most definitely DAZED and hella CONFUSED. How stupid can you be? I dont say that to be mean, but come on girlfriend, you made ALL the cardinal mistakes when it comes to dating.

  1. You asked him for his number? WHAT! I don’t care what anyone tells you or how men will try and spin it and say they like when a woman ask them out. It will never end well. Men love a chase, they love the game. Think of it as if it were football. You gave him the ball then scored the touchdown for him. That’s no fun.   I have made this same mistake before myself and ended up exactly where you are right now…confused! How you go into the relationship determines the dynamics of your relationship. Let him chase you and don’t give in too soon and he’ll be chasing you forever. Cave in like a video vixen’s ass cheeks and you’re sure to get sat on.
  2. 2 DATES!!!!! 2 DATES!!!! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING! I hate when women (usually the crazy ones) try to convince themselves that they can still have a relationship with a man after giving up their punanny too soon. Girl please! Once again the chase is over, he has nothing to look forward to, and you’re just another notch on his belt. Yes, it sometimes happens in the movies, and yes, Carrie got Big after giving it up to him on the first date but biooootch YOU’RE NOT CARRIE AND THIS ISN’T A MOVIE. This is real life stuff right here. I’m talking Death Con 5, Godzilla in the city, Titanic is sinking kind of life and if we aren’t careful these men will run right through over us. Wheeewwwww sorry girl but I get mad over that giving it up too fast stuff.  Long story short….KEEP YOUR LEGS CLOSED.
  3. You allow him to come over and “CHILL!” I have no words for this. The word Chill when used by a man in a sentence referencing me ALWAYS gets my blood boiling. Why did you fall for that? If a man really cares for, loves, or even likes you he will not want to “Just Chill” all the time.  He will want to take you out, show you off, impress you, for goodness sake he will want to COURT you. Whatever happened to dating?

At the end of the day you have blew it with this guy. He no longer respects you therefore he doesn’t feel the need to call you everyday, or take you out, or frankly do anything for you. It was over from the minute you asked him for his number. Now that we’ve established that there’s no way in frozen over hell that you and HIM are EVER going to have anything more than used condoms, lets explore how you can do better next time shall we?

  1. If you see a man that you’re interested in…flirt! Throw a few winks, smiles, and bashful eyes his way, toot your tail up and wait for him to come to you. If he doesn’t then he probably has a girl, doesn’t think you’re cute, gay, or too weak to step to you like a real man. In that case you don’t want him anyway.
  2. Just date the man girl. Next time a guy you like ask you out, instead of plotting lingerie pairs try just dating him for awhile. You may find out a thing or two from him, like whether or not he just wants a booty call or not! If you find out something bad about him then TWO THUMBS UP…you saved yourself from adding on a finger to your “count.”
  3. Follow my 3 to 1 rule when it comes to dating. 3 outside dates= 1 home visit. Men are like dogs girl so you have to train them. Think of it like doggy biscuits. If he takes you for sushi Monday night, soul food Thursday night, then dancing Saturday night he gets a biscuit/dinner at your place. BUT NO SEX…(I know that’s what you were thinking with your little fast tail).

Thanks for your question and even though I was hard on you I hope you look at it as tough love and do the right thing from now on.

Porsha Deshannon

Porsha Deshannon is a freelance writer and lives in Atlanta, GA. She began her career as a journalist for The Urban News in Asheville, NC and Assistant Editor for the Hilltop News. She is an avid fashion follower and writes cutting-edge style and beauty articles that inspire women to be there absolute best.

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