Having kids is a blessing, but being able to love someone else’s child the same way that you would your own sets the bar. While learning to adapt you your partner’s children, or gaining bonus kids may be hard for some, others take the tasks on like a real champ ensuring that no one is left behind.
Imagine meeting a guy and finding out that he already created another family with someone before you. Not an easy pill to swallow, but if he’s worth it, and the relationship is something you can invest in, one will see if the relationship is worth exploring. Things happen, and everyone deserves second chances, Right?
Not saying that you’ll be immediately welcomed with open arms, but the important part of coming into a family that’s already created is that they have a system, you just have to plant yourself there and grow naturally. Adapting to your bonus kids and investing in their interests is just a few ways to see if there’s a possible connection there and if you all can build around it.
Genuinely being your authentic self will secure you a pass when trying to build relationships with anyone. Making yourself available for family gatherings such as picnics, barbecues, birthday parties, and holiday festivities will give everyone a chance to see who you are and how you operate in different environments.
Of course, there will be a time where you may not be the most popular person in the family, but you’ll be a part of something that’s bigger than self. Family is family and learning to adapt to each specific needs can be very rewarding if the intent is genuine.
While many women dread the idea, look at gaining your newly extended family as a gift from God. Not only do you get to share the responsibilities with your new partner, but if his children’s mom is cordial, then there can be a potential friendship there as well if sparks fly. Not saying that you’ll be best friends, but being respectful can definitely leave the door of communication open.
These days families are far from the traditional situations that most of us have grown up in. While most of are accustomed to two parent household, and their siblings, others have learned to adapt to Stepmoms, Stepdads, and people that took on the role of guardianship. While most situations aren’t ideal, we cannot always choose our family but we can learn to love them.
Written By: Tamara Butler
Follow Tamara on Instagram: @uniquely humble