By: Sebastien “@TheGayBestie” Gaudin
How could I not touch on this particular topic of dating and domestic violence? As the media continues to run ramped over football players Ray Rice and Jonathan Dwyer placing their hands on their significant others I must admit its happened to me too. Although, my situation may be different because I am male, but it still doesn’t make it right. I remember the situation like it was yesterday. The experience within itself is nothing to praise or brag about. To be quite honest it drove to seek professional help during my college days.
I was only 20 and he was older and more experienced in life. A life I clearly had no clue about. See I was one who was always about my dreams and aspirations. There was a day after classes where I had to head over to my internship when it all began. During the train ride this guy had a glimmer in his eye and an interest in me. Ladies you know the stare from afar. Yes, gay men do it too. Of course being a little shy and coy I kept it cute and decided to act like I didn’t see him. He then followed me off the train in pursuit to stay in contact. We conversed and shortly after he accomplished with getting my number. As I proceeded to my duties at my internship meeting him fell far to the background. That evening he called and we chatted for a few hours and got a pretty good understanding of one another or so I thought.
Later on in the week after sometime of not talking he called me questioning where I’ve been. I remember explaining all was fine and simply just tending to my duties and nothing personal against him. We concluded with getting together an evening we both had open. Little did I know that my world was going to shift in a way that I never imagined.
After our first date he invites me to his home where he shared a place with his roommate. I recall walking in and sitting on the couch as The Bodyguard played on the television. My gut quivered and gave me that air of uncertainty, but I ignored it. I played it cool and told myself to relax. He walked away and entered the bedroom, which his roommate was in. After sitting on the couch for sometime I heard a sound coming from the room. Being young a foolish I found an excuse to get up and walk to the bathroom, which was adjacent from the bedroom. Once glancing in for a split second I had seen all that I needed to witness. Lets just say his “roommate” was professionally servicing him in a way that “blew” me.
Every fiber in my being was by far disrespected and searching for my exit. He scurried out of the room pulling up his pants in my direction. We exchanged words and I remember saying, “What you have to do to stay here is none of my business.” The anger in eyes came out of nowhere, which was then followed by a slap across my face. He then lifted my entire body and dragged me to a second room. I lunged to grip a descending piece of wall, but he was entirely way too strong for me. To be honest I had no clue what my fate had in store.
He said things to me that left me speechless stating, “I own you. Everything on you is mine.” As the words left his lips to my ears he pointed at different parts of my body. All I could think of, “This is my life.” After all my struggles here I am in front of man who could very well end it all if he really wanted to.
I prayed, begged, and pleaded for forgiveness if he felt disrespected by my words. I thought of every lie I could say, including that I contacted a friend and they were on their way over. He clearly said to me, “Do you think I care.”
Then it happened. He paused for a moment and looked me in my eyes and fell to the ground apologizing, “I’m sorry and I love you.” Lets remember this is only the first date and I don’t really even know this guy. So what do you think I said?
“I love you too.” I knew if anything I had to get both of us back to the living room. As he was weeping I convinced him to finish the movie and soothed him as he fell asleep. Once he was out cold I made my exit as a different person.
Never in a million years would I think a person who I was just getting to know would put their hands on me. I mean I come from the suburbs of New Jersey with two loving parents. I never heard or saw my parents disrespect one another in any kind of way so all of this was foreign to me. Another side of me had realized that I’m no different from anyone else. What others are subject to, so am I.
I headed home confused as ever wondering to myself, “What did I do.”
Long story short I’ve never seen that man again, but he did change me into a wiser individual.
If you or someone you know ever find yourself in such a situation know that you’re not alone and you’re worth so much more. Never feel as though hitting is apart of any relationship. Neither side is right whether it be female or male. Respect yourself enough to check your anger.
Thank You for Reading!
As a New Jersey native it came as no surprise when Sebastien, birthed a knack for talking and writing. During his college days the young blogger gained experience through international talkers such as The Maury Show and The Mo’nique Show. After years of interning and assisting the aspiring journalist threw caution to the wind and launched The Gay Bestie, LLC.
The lifestyle and culture company provides a different spin on love, sex, relationships, and fashion. #TGB focuses on the 21st Century woman and her loyal companion, other known as the gay bestie. Readers will find discussions that are usually held behind closed doors placed in the forefront to totally meet the needs of all. No, topic is ever off limits.
So ladies brace yourselves because Sebastien is taking you places where you’ll be sure to blush and share a laugh! He’s giving exactly what’s been missing. Grab you’re favorite beverage (i.e. red wine), sit back, and prepare to gab about this with your girlfriends the minute you see them.