Dear Ex Boyfriend

Hey Ladies, I’m back. I had to take a break from our #GirlfriendConfidential chit chats to do a little soul searching but I’m back and I’m not going anywhere. 2016 is slowly but surely coming to a close and while the latter part of this year has been very good to me, it didn’t start off that way. It started off with some self doubt, some second guessing and a whole lot of me short changing myself when in essence I knew my worth all along, but I put my faith and my worth in the wrong things and the wrong people so to speak. Today, I’m ready to face those fears though and the only way I know how to do that is to write. From the title one can assume this is going to be some man-bashing hate letter but it’s not. It’s me pouring my love and disdain for my ex out in the rawest form and I hope that you all read this letter, and learn something from my past mistake… I’m giving you all a piece of me today. Cherish it.

break-up-silhouette
Silhouettes of a Break-Up

Dear Ex Boyfriend,

I fought with myself a lot thinking about whether or not I was going to write this letter. Hell, I had an even harder time convincing myself to publicize this. We were friends for damn near a decade and stepped out on a whim and a prayer and ventured into a relationship. We had great chemistry and good times together. At least we used to… You used to be the same person who built me up when I was feeling weak – up until the point when you were the one who tore me down…

You had a choice to make and you chose to tear me down and make me feel worthless as a woman and unworthy of having a man love me. And after two years of living without you, being single and finally finding myself I can honestly say this with a straight face and no regrets – I forgive you. I forgive you for not being ready for me or the love and life I was trying to share with you. I forgive you for every single time we argued and I went to bed angry. Things weren’t always bad between us, but it’s definitely hard trying to remember those parts when those memories are overshadowed by the countless times I received late night phone calls from another woman while you lay in bed beside me, the countless times I called my sister and asked her why I was so stupid for loving you and for every single tear I’ve ever cried during and after our relationship.

But I no longer hate you. In fact, I want to thank you. Thank you for being my rose colored glasses that I finally got to take off and throw away. Thank you for allowing me to get to know myself. Inadvertently, you showed me how I wanted to be loved and respected and that I deserve nothing short of it. You had choices and the ones you chose didn’t include me. I used to be angry but now I’m okay with it. I can hear someone mention your name now and not want to burst into tears. Because in the midst of you turning me weak, I became strong. I became strong enough to know that I am beautiful both inside and out and I deserve the world.

These days, I’m a lot happier now. I’m smiling more and I know my worth as a woman and a companion and I know better than to ever let a man jeopardize my character, my beliefs and most importantly my heart. 

Sincerely,

Your Ex Girlfriend

Ladies, let’s reconvene for a minute. I wrote this letter and decided to publish it not to bash my ex but to give myself some much needed closure. At one point I was so wrapped up in him that I forgot all about me in the process. During those rough patches I was stressed beyond belief, my hair was falling out and I was barely eating. I was going through it. When you put that much of yourself into another person, it’s unhealthy and it’s damaging.

If you had a relationship that broke you, know that all it takes to recover is some time to self. It took me two years to bounce back but there is no time frame for recovery of a broken heart. All you can do is use that relationship as a learning experience and build a better life because of it. God only gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers and Baby Girl, remember, you got this! Because you are a Queen and while your crown may tilt, it’ll never fall.

tiara

Love Mo

Monique Tillman

Beyond the words, lies a young woman... A young woman filled with drive, determination, pride, passion, and an insatiable hunger for more. A young woman who is a self-proclaimed artist, but not in the sense that she can paint a mural. She's a verbal artist who paints pictures with words. Her beauty is more than skin deep, it lies within the lines of her words. And she's making a name for herself as your new favorite writer.

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