My husband is really beginning on my nerves. His bitchassness, as my girls and I like to call it, is really starting to turn me off! We recently purchased a fixer upper house that will soon be our dream home after a few renovations. It has six bedrooms and four bathrooms, a kitchen with an island, a walk-in closet (FOR ME!) and a basement that four cars can fit into. I’m really happy with the place and have a lot of plans on what we will be doing with each room. Two belong to my children, the master belongs to us, and the others I imagined would be a guest room, play room, and sewing room. My husband knew this beforehand but now he wants a “Man Cave.” I’m not with that! It’s not what we planned and it seems really selfish. My sewing room is for my business, and the children need a room for their toys and games. He complains saying he does not have space to do anything he wants. I allow him to hang with his boys whenever he pleases; so I’m not sure where this is all coming from. I do know I’m tired of arguing though. He and I both follow your column, who’s in the wrong?
-The Bubbling Fashionista (website coming soon!)
***The Bubbling Fashionista, I would like for you to re-read your inquiry. I find a lot of selfishness coming from your corner and no bitchassness in his. Whether you had plans for the house or not it is still his home too. You are married, meaning you both have to make concessions. The children have their bedrooms and a play room; you have a walk-in closet and a sewing room–what does he have in his home to call his own? Let me correct you too. As a grown man you are not “allowing” him to go out with his boys. He can do that whether you like it or not. However, he is fighting for a man cave because it’s his way of telling you he needs space in his home. Everyone needs a place to retreat and trust me when I tell you there are millions of women who wished their man’s retreat was his home; and not the strip club or a side chick’s house. This is a simple family issue to resolve and requires compromise on your part. I’m sure you’d much rather stay a “Bubbling Fashionista” than become a divorced one.
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