Do I Love Him, Or Is the Sex Just that Damn Good?

 It’s crazy that we would even have to ask ourselves this question, but sometimes it must be asked, ladies. Do I Love Him Or Is the Sex Just that Damn Good, is one of those late night questions you ask yourself after you broke up with your man for the third time this month, yet you rolled over and kissed him Good morning and made breakfast.

Clearly there’s an issue there, it’s just being overpowered by the good sex.Love should always overrule sex, but that doesn’t always seem to be the case. If you even have to ask yourself if you love him, or if the sex is keeping you around, you may be in your relationship for all the wrong reasons.


We all know that sexual chemistry is hard to find, and recreating that magic is something that doesn’t happen overnight. It’s either you are, or you’re aren’t. There are no gray areas when it comes to sexual chemistry, but that doesn’t mean that the relationship will still work. You’ll still have to work on other areas of your relationship after the sex is over and done with it.



Some women may find themselves comfortable in situations with the same man for years because it’s harder to develop trust with different partners.  Remembering that you still have to communicate and find other common areas of interests will be the glue to fostering a sustainable relationship.


african american couple upset

Poor communication and arguments only occur when one or both partners aren’t living up to their full potential.  Try not to lean towards sex every time you have a disagreement or fight. While sex may be a good idea I the heat of passion, it’s only blanketing your concerns temporarily.


We’re only human, though. We can’t help that we get caught up in love and it allows us to forget the little bit of common sense we had left. Of course, we can wait and allow a man to find us that not only has jaw-dropping sex but also treats us well but how often does that happen?  You know, the type of guys that come prepared in more ways than one.


african american couple in bed


Learning to adjust to different types of relationships will teach you to appreciate the total package when he arrives. While we as women wish for our men to come educated, well endowed, empathetic, and funny, that won’t always be the case. Sometimes they come equipped with the basic  necessities such as  a job and an eye for you. Everything else is a constant work in progress and something that will develop over time!


Written By: Tamara Butler

Follow Tamara on Instagram: @uniquely humble

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