“I’m rubbing on it, rub-rubbing, if you scared, call that reverend
Boy, I’m drinking, get my brain right, Armand de Brignac, gangster wife
Louis sheets, he sweat it out like washrags, he wear it up
Boy, I’m drinking, I’m singing on the mic to my boy’s toys
Then I fill the tub up halfway then ride it with my surfboard
Surfboard, surfboard” – Beyoncé
We’re all familiar with Yoncé’s new-found frisky side…I’m not quite sure where she came from, but she’s definitely onto something here… I think it’s SUPER important to keep the sex life vivid in a relationship. It’s healthy! I think these days we are likely to base the strength of our relationships with how good the sex is anyway, so if the fire starts to die down in your relationship–my advice–say yes to ‘sexy time’. Let’s talk about sex, baby.
Now me personally, I prefer to be naked–BUT that doesn’t mean I should forget that men naturally enjoy the thrill of a woman who gets sexy just for him. I mean ladies, we are the object of their affection–but every now and then fulfill some fantasies! You’d be surprised how much improvement something as simple as wearing lingerie can bring to your sex life. I definitely suggest shopping for your personals with your significant other. A surprise is always nice, but I think it’s more important to get what they really like and want to see you in. If you insist on using the element of surprise, try to find out what his/her favorite pieces are in a casual, unsuspecting way and then a week or two later once they’ve forgotten about the casual encounter, you can whip out the piece they chose. YUM.
Cops and Robbers. President and First Lady. Sexy Librarian. Nurse and Patient. You name it! The options are endless when you put your imagination to it! Role playing is an excellent way to keep the fire burning in your sex life. The best part about it is that it gives both you and your partner the opportunity to stretch your minds and fulfill your wildest fantasies that otherwise might have gotten you in trouble if the opportunity ever presented itself with another person.
If you have never role played before, try to take things slow. Start with a simple scenario that will come naturally for the both of you so that you can really get into it. First impressions are lasting and you don’t want to leave a sour taste in your mouth about role playing just because you guys took it too far the first time. Feel comfortable asking your partner what scenarios and roles he/she would like to play. Write them down and when you’re out and about pick up things to help bring the scenario to life. Also, make sure the mood is right. If one of you has had a long, stressful day–a bondage scenario is probably not the best alternative. Consider your partner’s mood at all times. It can really work in your favor if you think about it. For example, if he/she had a bad day, try playing sexy bartender for them. Fix them a couple drinks and listen to how terrible their day was, but remain in your professional ‘working’ state no matter how much they start to want you. Then as the anticipation builds and they can’t take it anymore… ATTACK! What a thrill!
It’s obvious that the more props and costumes you have the better the role playing will be. Adult novelty stores, ‘Spencers’, and lingerie stores have plenty of fun props that you can purchase to bring these scenes to life. I do understand that it can get sort of costly, but the money you would have used on a night out can be spent on a bottle of wine, a costume, and a few props for the most fun you’ve had in a long time right at home! I think every couple needs a pair of sex dice, a blindfold, and handcuffs. I mean, hello! Those are essentials. Beyond those things though, if you’re into whips and chains (yikes!) those are available too. Be creative. If they don’t have a costume for a role you’re trying to play, create it! Head to a thrift store and see what you can find! The more props, the better your scenario will play out.
I’m not sure how most men feel about toys. I honestly feel that they find it a little emasculating, but I don’t think you should take it that way, gents! I think of toys as props as well. I think a cute and necessary date for you and your honey should be a trip to the adult novelty store. Explore each other’s sexual drive and desires. If you don’t, you leave the opportunity around for another person to do so! Go to your nearest sex store and spend some time watching the things he/she likes and show them what you like. You’re likely to leave with something fun to try right away that you both will enjoy.
Don’t be embarrassed to talk about these things with your partner. Be as open and honest as possible. It may be a little weird at first, but I promise it will have such a great effect on your sex life. It’s healthy for your relationship to keep the fire burning ever so brightly in bed. Start learning about your partner today! It’s an adrenaline rush! If you’re a new couple, things will probably take off full speed ahead. If you’re an older couple, depending on how open you are with each other, things could become a little weird at first finding out what your partners sexual fantasies have been all this time. Whatever you do, just make sure you are open-minded, honest, and willing to spruce things up romantically for your partner. I’m sure it will be worth it.