Written By: Bryan Elliot
For the sake of this piece, let’s start off by giving a definitive definition to the word chivalry. Merriam-Webster defines chivalry as a “gallant or distinguished gentlemen, ” and that’s the definition we are going to use as well.
Is chivalry a thing of the past? At one point, I had a solid argument that chivalry still exists in modern dating. And believe it or not, I was beginning to get women to empathize with men. But with the new trend, Venmo Dating, it’s difficult to have a rebuttal for the argument that “chivalry is dead.”
Venmo is a peer-to-peer payment app owned by PayPal that is popular with millennials. The app was launched on 2012, and it was originally intended to allow 20-somethings to split expenses such as cab fares and utility bills. According to the New York Post, users digitally transferred more than $1 billion on the app in January alone.
But just like any new form of technology, once it’s applied, someone finds a way to misapply it. Venmo Dating is an excellent example of this theory. What is Venmo Dating?
Venmo Dating occurs when a man goes out with a woman and pays for dinner or drinks as he is expected to do on a date, but then uses Venmo, the peer-to-peer payment app, to request his date reimburse her share after the fact. The women go from being treated to be being dealt with as debtors.
Once again, is chivalry a thing of the past? Not necessarily. Don’t let the sins of a few cause the punishment of many. For there are still good men out there.
I sympathize with both sides, men should not carry the entire financial burden of courtship, but to voluntarily pay for your date’s dinner only to request a reimbursement the next day is pure pettiness.
This new trend has rehashed the heated debate of gender roles in heterosexual relationships and rightfully so. Times have changed drastically.
There seems to be a simple solution to the topic at hand. Financial experts encourage the sharing of expenses while dating and I agree. The problem arises when it comes down to discussing expenses. Money is probably one of dating’s biggest taboos. In fact, you’ll find it harder to discuss personal finances when meeting someone than discussing sex. Which is disheartening considering money is a topic that will persist throughout the course of a relationship. With this said, Implementing a plan to share expenses may call for the expertise of the psychological kind as well.
“Who’s paying for what” is a delicate subject to discuss with your date, but nonetheless, it’s a discussion that needs to take place if you intend on going dutch.
Just please don’t offer to treat your date to a great evening, voluntarily pay for dinner and drinks, only to send a Venmo request demanding reimbursement for her portion of the date.
Despite the trend Venmo dating, I still say “chivalry is NOT dead.”